November 2009

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All of November we have been in a baby time warp.

Mike had taken the week of 10/27 off from work to stay with me and Mikey to make sure we were both healing from labor and birth during Mikey's first week of life. But the following Monday he had to return to work for the week to give one-on-one oral exams. Luckily, my parents could stay with me so I wasn't alone. Erin and Teresa also attended to me that second week of Mikey's life:

On the first Monday of the month we went to the doctor's office for a weigh-in to be sure Mikey was gaining weight. Sure enough he had gained 3 ounces since we had left the hospital on the previous thursday. He was still looking a little yellow so he had his bilirubin checked, which was high and necessitated another trip to the lab on Tuesday morning. Tuesday evening my mom really wanted to wash the windows. I'm not sure why it was so important...the windows had never been washed since we moved in but since she wanted to do it I made it happen. It was a great excuse to invite my new friend Erin over to meet Mikey and keep me company. (Erin had our painting tools that my mom needed to wash the windows.) After Erin left and we got the results from the second bilirubin test (it had gone down), I had a moment when I was really worried that I wasn't feeding the baby well enough to ward off jaundice. Of course, it was just sleep deprivation but I was very upset about it and my parents were a great support. On Wednesday morning my parents departed for AZ after working around the house non-stop. Since I wasn't confident to be alone with Mikey and Mike had to go to work to give oral exams to his students, I called in reinforcement from Teresa. She came over to meet Mikey and to watch over me.

The nights during the first week were filled with sleeplessness and tears of joy. I remember not wanting to put the baby in his bassinet because it was too far away from me at night. So Mikey slept on our tummies in our bed with us. One blurry memory: I was sitting in the low light of nighttime nursing my baby boy. With one hand around my son and my other hand resting on my husband's leg, I cried for the pure joy and beauty of it.

As sleep deprivation caught up with us, we finally moved him from our tummies to his own bed. Of course, we switched our sleeping positions so that our heads were as close to him (at the old foot of the bed) as possible. As he was clearing his lungs and learning how to breathe, our nights were spent listening intently to his squeals and breathing. We checked his chest for movement and we held our finger to his nose to feel the warm exhale. Our attention was still focused on Mikey and, while we were more rested than when he slept in the bed with us, we continued to be too sleep deprived to survive.

The third week of Mikey's life, Mike was able to stay home with me and it was a dream! The three of us were in a nice rhythm and spent our time getting to know one another.

Mikey's fourth week, Mike went back to work part-time. I was confident enough to stay alone with Mikey for four to six hours at a time. But since Mike needed to think with higher-order brain power we changed our sleeping arrangements again. We took turns sleeping in the bed and on the couch. With the baby (and his noisy breathing) outside of the bedroom, whoever was trying to rest could get some deep sleep.

After Mikey turned 6 weeks old, he graduated to sleeping in his own room in his crib. We set up the monitor, tucked him in, and successfully slept together in our master bed alone together! This was a wonderful accomplishment for our little family. Of course, as soon as Mikey made a squeak, one of us was hustling down the short hallway to attend to him. It is working out wonderfully!

Some Misc. Memories (not in any particular order)
Laughing
In the hospital: Mikey was asleep on Mike's bare chest/tummy. I'm not sure what made us laugh but Mike and I started to chuckle. Then I looked over and Mikey was bobbing up and down as Mike belly-laughed, which made me laugh a little harder. I told Mike why I was laughing and he started to laugh harder, which made the baby bob a little more, which made me laugh harder, and we entered a wonderful laugh attack! By the end, we were both in tears from laughter and the baby was still asleep.

Motherhood
The myth of motherhood: I was nervous about becoming a mother because I wasn't sure that I would really be able to change the way I needed to. And indeed when Mikey was put on my chest in those first minutes of his life I didn't feel connected to him at all. I wondered, "who are you?" However, I did feel an enormous responsibility to protect him. Over the weeks I have come to know him better, love him, and I think I have evolved a little into that mother role that I had hoped for. Case in point: Mikey was inconsolable. He was full with a clean diaper and roasty-toasty warm. (One of his nicknames is "Mr. Roasty Toasty" because he likes to be so warm that it makes me nervous for overheating.) He was SCREAMING at the top of his lungs and tears were bundling in his eyes whenever he looked at me. But I found peace by singing an old song I learned when I attended Catholic school as a child called "Let there be peace on earth" as loud as he screamed. Eventually he calmed down and I felt success - not only had I calmed my baby but I had enjoyed doing it.

Nicknames
Mikey has earned a number of nicknames. Of course there are the "standard" names like "Mr. Fussypants" and "Stinky" but we also call him our "rough and tumble flower" in memory of some advice Mike got when he entered his post-doc. He was told that working with Tom would require that he not be a "delicate flower." We got a kick out of that and indeed, Mike has never been mistaken for a "delicate flower" and was successful working at NIST. Since Mikey was a premie and a little small and delicate we called him a flower. However, he was also VERY strong - lifting his head and wiggling his arms and legs like a crazy man - so we clarified that he was a "rough and tumble" flower. We also called him a peanut because he was so little when he first came home and we continue to measure him as some sort of legume or nut. He went from an peanut to an almond and now he is a walnut...or a pecan...we can't tell.

New Appliances
When we got back from Boulder our dryer needed replacing. We also purchased our first microwave oven. Then the week Mikey arrived our dish washer died. So we bought him a new dish washer, which Mike had to install while sleep-deprived. Then our washing machine died and the Schneiders were generous enough to help us replace it with a fancy front-loader. Our mornings that used to be filled with breakfast together and a short tea ceremony are now shortened. The tea ceremony has happened a couple times but we found ourselves NEEDING caffiene to wake up instead of merely enjoying the time together. So we also bought our first coffee machine. Whew!

What an Eater!
Weigh-in #2: 6lb 15oz. Mikey gained one pound in 10 days.

Life with a Baby's Peepee
At the circumcision mommy cried more than the baby. I felt like I was failing to protect him. But his penis healed up fast and we continue to be entertained and amazed at his trajectory. Mikey's pee-fountain has made us laugh until we cried more than once because he has hit the walls, the crib across the room, and we're expecting him to hit the ceiling sometime! We generally keep a pptp or an absorbent rag over him during diaper-changing time but he just wiggles it off sometimes.

GIFTS - WOW
Gifts continue to pour in: we've received clothes, little professor, patagonia, peepeeteepees, food mailordered from Zingermans and Omaha Steaks, food prepared locally and delivered by our friends Jen and Honey (rice and beans) and Teresa (stew and buns and jam - with ingredients grown in Teresa's garden).

Something that I keep in mind that Chithra told me: "A baby's cry is the more innocent thing in the world."

Mikey Learns to Breath and Eat
Mikey hums while he eats. I think it helps him with timing the suck-swallow-breath coordination. He is so sweet sounding as he hums, "hmm, mm, mm,...,mm." And if he is agitated before he latches on - or becomes agitated when he has to poo while eating - I hum to him to keep him focused. If I don't we have "attack of the booby" incidents and he jumps off coughing the milk from his lungs. Needless to say this is terribly unnerving for everyone.

World News
Jen comes over to hold the baby. It is fun to get the call when she invites herself over. Before Mikey was born, Jen said she wouldn't hold him until he could hold up his own head unless he was cute. Since Mikey was born, Jen has invited herself over and held him more than once...he must be pretty darn cute! It has been fun to watch and listen while Jen updates him on what he was missing in Jim's PHYS 211 lecture, the politics of the day, and the scores of the pro sporting events. :)

Mobility
After a few weeks of snuggling on the couch with Mikey I started to feel antsy. So I bought a Moby Wrap for myself to carry him while he sleeps. I like the wrap but I have to say that Mikey is kind of weird. First of all, I can only use it if he is limp-limb asleep. Otherwise he won't tolerate being face down. He likes to either face the world or look over my shoulder while I hold him in a modified cradle. Sometimes he will tolerate being tummy-to-tummy if he can throw his head back (and have me hold it) but since I have to support his head, it kind of defeats the goal of having a carrier to help me be hands-free.

Momentos
Now I know that Mikey should suffice as a momento of this whole birth into parenthood but Mike and I both wanted a little something. So Mike bought me a watch that I had had my eye on for months (a citizen eco-drive). And I bought Mike a razor that he had had his eye on (an M Schneider straight razor).

Congratulations Nichole!
Good luck in CA!

Thanksgiving
At the Jacobs house
Julie and Mike are thankful for every moment with Mikey: moments of coos and silly faces, moments of sleep caught between feedings and diaper changes, moments of togetherness. Mikey is thankful for the warm water bottle that warms his bed while he's out to eat, the hair dryer that warms his bum while he's on the changing table, mommy's breastmilk that makes him grow big and strong, and bouncy time with daddy.

Back to yoga
On November 30th I went back to the Women's Club for yoga with Sylvia. It was so nice to walk into the classroom and be so well-received. I look forward to Sylvie meeting Mikey some time soon. The kriya she chose was to invigorate/support the self. At first, I thought that I didn't need to work on my "self" but by the end of the set I had realized that it was nice to focus on just me instead of worrying about Mike or Mikey or anyone else!

Hi Meredith...I have heard that you are a regular reader. :)

Photo Contest

Please vote for my picture of Mikey at the following website. I submitted his picture for a contest called "Things we are thankful for in our lives."
http://www.abcmontana.com/features/promocontests/73864517.html